Been awhile since I put anything up here. As usual, it seems. Well, I do have one piece of news.
We broke up again.
It happened at the end of spring break, just about four weeks ago. I called her one night, and said something that was kind of rude, when I look back on it. She got really mad at me for that, so I went to apologize to her. But I had trouble getting the words out. I sounded like a dumbass. So, I took the opportunity I had inadvertently given myself, and took my leave.
I'm sorry we broke up again, but I saw it coming this time. We kept getting in arguments, and didn't seem to be getting along as well as the first time. I saw something brewing in September, when she got mad at me for a week or so. Then again in December, when we barely talked for over a week. So, I was preparing myself for the eventual possibility that we'd break up again even then. I had time to get ready.
I hardened my heart, and made plans for what I'd do when the time came, as I guessed it would. This time, I decided to do a total disconnect. No blubbering at her over IM, no trying to see her, no staying friends on Facebook. This time, she'd go her way, and I'd go mine. Which is what happened.
After I got home from seeing her, I got on my computer. Blocked her - and a friend of hers - from Facebook. Changed the address of my blog. Set up a filter that would silently receive and ignore her incoming messages.
It's a little bit hard to not talk to her at all, but I think that's the way she wants it. It's not that bad, really. I feel a little bit relieved not worrying about her. I know she can take care of herself, and her little dog too. I suppose if she really wanted to talk to me, she'd email or call or something. But she doesn't.
So that's how it is for now.
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