May 26th is coming up. Is this an important date? For me, it is kind of important, yes. Three years ago, on May 26th 2006, Kitty and I started dating. It was my first boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It was also her first healthy relationship. She was finally dating a guy who wasn't an asshole (me).
I'm not just saying that; she told me that numerous times. It was a turning point for me, too. I learned many things from our roughly two and a half years together.
Most importantly, I learned how to be a boyfriend. I learned how to care for someone else who isn't related to me, putting up with her mood swings, quirks, and annoying habits. I managed to love her despite those, and love her unconditionally. When I think about it, it's amazing we got along as well as we did for as long as we did. Not that we got along all the time. We had fights, spats over silly little things. We always kissed and made up afterwards, though. I cannot even remember what most of the fights were about. That shows how important they are in the big picture of things, I guess.
Now, 9 months after she broke up with me, I find myself looking back on the time we had together. The good times, the bad times, just the time. Living, loving, learning.
I could have regrets about our relationship, but I do not. Regretting the past will not change it. What I try to do is remember the past and learn from it, so I do not do the same dumb thing twice. I miss it, sure. I miss having a companion, someone to talk to, someone to go through life with. Sometimes, I wonder what our lives would be like if we had never met. What would we be doing now? Would things be different, or would they be the same, having merely unfolded in a different way?
Do I regret ever having her for a girlfriend in the first place? Do I wish I had said "I'm not available, sorry," on that day in April 2005 when I heard about a girl who needed a math note taker and tutor?
No.
Not one bit.
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