Shutting Down

This will be my last post here for awhile. I need some time to think and rethink things. I might start up another blog somewhere, or I might not. I've decided I want to re-examine my life a little bit, so that I don't repeat the same mistakes that caused me to lose the woman I loved. And that I still love.
So, I'm closing up shop here at Starbase Centauri. Begin system shutdown:

Shuttlebay doors closed... OK.
Environmental systems to standby... OK.
Artificial gravity to one half G... OK.
Main computer shutdown... OK.
Minimal atmospheric maintenance... OK.

Lights out.

I'd like to close with a little poem I found. I think it's song lyrics, but it seemed to fit.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You.

She said that she's moved on. Is that true? Can she really move on from an over two year relationship in the short span of two weeks? I don't know whether to be hurt at her callousness or surprised by her resilience. Wait, is it callous to take less time than the other person to get over a break up? No, it's just how each person operates. She's had more experience with breaking up than I have, so she knows how to get over it better.
I wish with all that's left of my broken heart that she had not had to have the experience one more time.

A week ago Tuesday night, I had a dream. In that dream, Kitty and I were together again. I was so glad she had come back, I couldn't stop hugging her. She was happy to have me back, too. We walked off together, holding hands and talking. Together again.

Sadly, this is reality, and reality is different. She came back to me in my dreams though, so I'll have to be content with that for now.

I just wish I could see her, hear her voice, hug her, kiss her goodbye, one last time. Alas, 'tis not to be.

Good bye, Kitty. You will always be in my heart.
I love you.

System Off.